The Hills Have Thighs

The Hills Have Thighs is a hysterical Appalachian Comedy that centers around the sudden disappearance of a local hillbilly icon named Daniel Boone Owen, who vanishes one night after a corn liquor-induced stupor. The hilarious journey throughout Appalachia features colorful, larger than life characters struggling to get to the bottom of this mystery. The theories vary from his driving off of Issaqueena Falls, being murdered by local tourists, getting abducted by aliens, and even suffering a gruesome death by black bear. One person in particular, Pooter Brown– a self-proclaimed UFO-abductee of 16 prior Christmas Eves–promotes the most popular theory: Dan has vanished into a Wormhole.

After a story spanning Upper Pickens County, South Carolina and lower Transylvania County, North Carolina, the story unfolds with a shocker ending you will have to see to believe. The Hills Have Thighs features a spray of characters ranging from a closeted homosexual hillbilly named Drip, who has a propensity to dribble a little urine in his overalls, to an Obama-obsessed Limousine Liberal from California named Tree-Tree, who has a penchant for “Mammy” Dolls and sees nothing wrong with her extensive collection of “Negrobelia,” to two lesbian “sisters” – Twinkie and Velvetta Adams – who are forced to live in the cellar, to a colorful variety of big-boned ladies with even larger attitudes.

Jay Ellington
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Copyright 2011 J.L. Mann Cromer, Jr.